My distaste for banksters and their ilk is the same as my dislike for unfairness and corruption. This has at times made it emotionally difficult to deal with the people who represent them. The average person answering the phone at the bank or mortgage servicing company is under-paid, much abused, and in the dark about the extremely naughty practices of the agencies employing them. The ones who created this mess are so far above them, they are like demigods over ants by comparison.
Understand what they CANNOT do for you, such as make the financial entity (servicer, mortgage, company, bank) play fair, stop their cheating, lying, and stealing and stop producing fraudulent documents at every turn.
After that, turn to what they CAN do for you. Tell then you are trying very hard to work out a solution with them and your financial adviser. Your hands are tied because of you need more information. This is all TRUE, even if you are your own financial adviser. That you need more information is absolutely true.
You can catch more flies with honey than with vinegar and sometimes that poor person you are talking to about your mortgage can find information for you that would take hundreds or even thousands of dollars to find if you must hire someone to do it. I was able, with a little such sleuthing, to find out which mortgage backed security (MBS) trust the loan servicer showed owned my loan. I learned who they thought the owner of the loan was. I received nuggets that when Googled or used at the Securities Exchange Commission (SEC) website at: http://www.sec.gov/ , helped me to find the Pooling and Servicing Agreement (PSA) for the asset backed pass-through MBS trust they had named.
This came in handy when the attorney for the fraudclosure agent recorded a fraudulent assignment of the deed of trust, half a decade after the closing date for getting it assigned to the MBS trust and recorded in my county. The PSA said nothing could be added into the MBS trust after the closing date.
Anyway, really work at getting the poorly paid folks over at the bankster or fraudservicer office to help you iron all this out by giving you as much information as their skill on a computer and access to information and documents can give them. Even if you have discovered how blatantly corrupt and evil the empire they work for is, shore up your contempt, and imagine how screwed they are working for such a place. Smile. Be grateful. Someone over there may give you the essential tidbit that will lead to saving your home.
Beautiful the world by KEEPING YOUR HOME.